TicketMOMster review: Ziggy Marley @ The Burt
I’m learning that there are many components to grief. There’s the overwhelming sadness that blankets my heart and that unrelenting heaviness that pushes on my shoulders making it almost impossible to stand up straight.
Today, I discovered anger. I saw it coming later in the afternoon, slowly surrounding me like ghostly shadows in the darkness. Anger against God, anger against me, anger against you, anger against that guy over there that I don’t even know. But the white hot rage was reserved for death; the death that unexpectedly took my Dad 2 and ½ weeks ago. One day we were talking on the phone and making plans, the next day he was dead.
All this anger is uncomfortable and scary and I hate every second of it. But I believe the quickest way to deal with grief is to go straight through it; not around it, not bury it, not medicate it, THROUGH IT. Feeling those feelings, letting them rise as uncomfortable as they are, and sit with them.
All afternoon and into the evening my body was tense, my jaw clenched, I hated everyone and everything. How could this have happened? When I was little, my Father was the biggest man I knew, how could he be defeated by death? Rage, rage, rage.
I’m realizing that every event since my Dad’s death has come at the right time. Today was no different. When I think about music that’s the opposite of rage, I think of reggae; the mellow nature of it and all that smiling.
I only know Ziggy Marley through his Dad, Bob Marley. And the only reggae songs I know are on my Bob Marley Legend CD. In other words, I bought this ticket because I was curious. Little did I know, the show would end up being just what I needed.
I was originally supposed to sit in the 2nd balcony, but I quickly discovered my seat had an obstructed view (I wouldn’t be able to see Ziggy or anyone to the right of the stage). I went to the box office and asked to be moved.
I didn’t really care where they moved me, I just wanted to be able to see all members of the band. They moved me to the floor, 13th row, isle seat. My eyes almost popped out of my head and I thanked the woman at the box office.
I sat next to a man who was there with his son. My heart sank. My Dad and I sat on the floor together too…many times. I tried not to listen to their conversations because they were all conversations I would have had with my Dad.
The band took the stage and started the first song, Wild & Free. Ziggy’s smile emerged from the darkness at the back of the stage and I instantly knew I would feel different once the show was over. He looked like he was going to sing two or three times, but each time backed off the microphone.
After that tune, they played Start It Up off Ziggy’s newest self titled album. And then it happened…I connected with the following lyrics from Moving Forward:
Sometimes it seems impossible
The obstacles that we must climb
Adversity is my ally
Even though she makes me cry
I’m moving forward
The pain makes me stronger
Can’t stop me no longer
While the band played the song, a bit of anger poured out of my body in the form of tears, which rolled down my cheeks and onto my shirt. I let the tears come. They felt good, like sweet relief.
The next song was Reggae In My Head which was characteristically bouncy and it seemed to soothe my rage-filled heart.
Ceceil actually made me smile and I really enjoyed Butterflies as well. One of the vocalists was featured on Conscious Party, dancing her heart out at centre stage.
I wish I knew the names of the women, they were by far, the hardest working members of Ziggy’s band. Not to say the band wasn’t great, they were all quite tight. But the stamina of the two women was impressive.
Bob’s One Love got everyone on their feet and Look Who’s Dancing got everyone moving.
The encore featured three tunes, We Are The People, Is This Love? and Weekend’s Long.
After the show I didn’t feel nearly as angry. My heart was still heavy, but that white hot rage seemed to have settled.
I know it will come again. Grief comes in waves and while that anger wave is one of the darkest I’ve encountered, I’ll become a stronger swimmer every time it leaves. This won’t last forever. I will dance on land again.
Now it’s time for some warm tea and then rest. I can’t forget to be kind and gentle to myself. This is hard work and it’s been a hard day. Thank you Ziggy Marley (and band) for lessening my grief for two hours.
TicketMOMster is a Rock and Jazz-loving Mom; single-handedly keeping Ticketmaster alive in Winnipeg. Follow her musical journey here: www.facebook.com/TicketMOMsters