“The first duty of love is to listen” – Paul Tillich
Are you a good listener?
At the centre of many disputes between couples is the complaint of “not being heard”. Most of the time, when one is talking, the partner indeed stays silent but is actually preparing for a rebuttal.
Listening with the heart as well as with the ears has become such an inconvenience that more and more conflicts in various settings arise. Without appropriate intervention, ineffective listening eventually leads to crumbling connections.
In other cases, the speaker is just too lackluster that our attention drifts off to his moles, clothes, or the pretty girl beside him. Sometimes, it is much easier to just tune out especially when we are convinced we cannot afford to waste the time needed to hear what the other person is saying.
Be it in friendships, work places, or classrooms, this all-too-familiar situation touches upon various issues. In so doing, poor listeners further debase relationships by pretending, selectively focusing, judging, or interrupting.
In this digital age of multi-tasking and multi-sensorial gadgets, many of us seem to have difficulties in genuinely listening to each other. Listening is one of the keystones of any relationship, personal or professional.
Ironically, the abundance of social networking sites, instant messaging, and photo sharing have increasingly widened the gap due to superficial connections. You may have thousands of friends on Facebook, but how many of them really know you? How many of them actually “listen” to you?
One of the biggest reasons why people feel that “void”, which may be manifested as depression, anger, frustration, or other debilitating emotions, is the absence of honest connection which comes with sincere listening.
As a clinical psychologist who works in private practice with couples and individuals, I am launching a much needed Connections Workshop. This course will help you understand listening as well as guide you in becoming a great listener. The workshop also aims to support individuals and couples in maximizing unique encounters.
Practice sessions will be monitored by instructors who will give nourishing feedback regarding your development. Aside from learning healing communication, Connections Workshop can give handy tips on managing conflict, facilitating groups, and even developing charm.
Most of us think that we are good listeners but we are often not the best judge, so it is better to ask someone close to you.
It can also be easy to explain and understand what it means to listen, but people often have difficulties doing it in real life when it comes to actual conversations.
As I’ve discovered in my practice and as a weekly guest on CJOB discussing relationship dynamics, this is a major issue because listening is key to so many different parts of our lives.
With my background on evocative empathy therapy, a set of teachable skills founded on client centered approach, you will be taught how to better understand others and improve your relationships.
The course starts Nov. 7, 2015 and ends Dec. 5, 2015. The three-hour-sessions will be held on Saturday evenings from 6 pm – 9 pm. Couples’ registration fee is $160 and per person registration is $95 (major credit cards are accepted).
The Winnipeg venue, Soul Sanctuary at 2050 Chevrier Boulevard, is large enough to accommodate an equally large number of participants.
Please call 204-201-0751 to register.
Nov. 7 (Week 1): Theory of Healing Communication Techniques and Live Demonstration
Nov. 14 (Week 2): Skills Training (Weeks 2-5 include practice sessions with feedback from instructors)
Nov. 21 (Week 3): Projection and Live Demonstration
Nov. 28 (Week 4): Power Dynamics
Dec. 5 (Week 5): Managing Specific Issues