How are you at forgiving? Are you the type to hold a grudge or is it easy for you to to let things go, let is sllliiiiide.
How are you at forgiving yourself?
Often times, perhaps even most times, we are more gentle, loving and kind to other people – even perfect strangers, than we are to ourselves.
We allow non-productive, negative, defaming, even mean thoughts to replay about ourselves in our own heads over and over and over.
We beat ourselves up for choices we’ve made, for promises we’ve broken, even for unintentional mistakes. We berate ourselves, put ourselves down and call ourselves names like stupid, idiot, forgetful. Would we talk to our children like that? Would we talk to people we love like that?
What if today, and going forward in the future, we made a purposeful, deliberate and intentional choice to be kinder to ourselves?
What if we could forgive ourselves for our perfect imperfections; for not being perfect parents or partners or leaders. Forgive ourselves for not saying the right thing at the right time, for being silent when we should have spoken up, for speaking up when we should have been silent. For taking the biggest piece of cake or for taking the smallest piece of cake. For all the things we have done that make us entirely human.
If we can learn from each of these failing, maybe, just maybe they aren’t failings after all – just opportunities for growth. If we can learn from them, then we can forgive ourselves, we can be gentle and loving and kind with ourselves – as we should be.
What if we could say something nice to ourselves upon waking each morning and before we collapse into bed each night. That could be a pleasant diversion from the usual cacophony of lists and critics going through our head.
You’re wonderful, magnificent and have oodles of untapped potential – yes you, yes, I am talking to you. But you can’t tap into your greatness unless you forgive yourself first.
In the spirit of setting a good example, I’ll go first.
Today I forgive myself – for the past and for the present. For not being a perfect wife, or a perfect mom or perfect speaker, for not being a perfect radio show host, or columnist, for not taking better care of body, for eating the whole slab of rocky mountain fudge.
I was doing the best I could at the time with the information I had. I forgive myself and I commit to learning everyday to become better in my roles and making sure I have the skills and information I need to make better choices and having loving people around me to help me.
And … I declare today Forgive Yourself Day!
Is there a law against declaring a day I wonder? Oh well, I forgive myself for making up a day without filling out the required paperwork!
Yep – before we can forgive others, we must truly forgive ourselves.
Forgive Yourself Day – I like it!