Garage sale hubbub. PHOTO: Mike Gifford
I was the wheel-man for garage sale touring last weekend. My only daughter convinced me to undertake the job by describing my skills in drive bys, drop-offs and pickups.
The process of combing drive pads of residential jetsum is more efficient with an experienced driver. An individual never wanting to leave the vehicle to browse is the hallmark of a garage sale driver in demand.
Slow cursing through a neighbourhood is a priority to determine if a stop is warranted. No sense of a picker exiting a vehicle if a prize is not in sight.
A drop-off at a pad for a closer look must be followed up by a vehicle speed slower than a funeral crawl. The driver stays on top by scoping out a pull-over spot in case the table wears that drew the picker from the car are a dud. The picker makes can make a hasty return.
The need to maintain a rear view mirror checks to watch for quick purchases that require a trunk pop for storage is valuable. Rolling pickups cover distance by keeping everyone on the move.
On entering the Sage Creek residential neighbourhood I witness a rarely observed gathering of a city scavenger. It is unusual to see them in groups, out of the sewers or cracks in the pavement.
You may have seen them driving vehicles sporting City of Winnipeg markings. Most times they creep around cars on two legs in search of vehicles that fail to park in accordance with parking bylaws.
There seems to be more of the creatures around hospitals. They are attracted to the sick, the weak and those who are less fortunate. Rarely will you see the creature in residential neighbourhoods in the summer season.
Winter storms seem to draw them out of their crawl space to pick the pocket of those who fail to read over night parking warnings on the city’s website.
The evolved species now sports cameras to capture prey in violation. They draw from the pocket book by stabbing a yellow paper ticket under a vehicle windshield.
A list of potential stingers to suck from a car owners wallets can be found on the Parking Store website.
Parking Compliance Officers or meter maids as I label them, is the name of this city hinterland creature that feeds off negligent curb side vehicle owners..
The group of meter maids I observed on this sunny Saturday morning were gathering on the fringe of Sage Creek subdivision. I can’t ever recall seeing meter maids in a residential area before, especially in the day light.
Sage Creek subdivision – not your usual meter maid stomping grounds.
It seems the vultures were loading up on ticket books preparing to invade the neighbourhood weekend garage sale event. To improve their ability to hunt greater distances they sported bikes for transportation.
It has been argued by the city overseers that revenue generated from ticket fines is not a cash grab. So, why then are meter maids out in a neighbourhood full of garage sales? Why are parking tickets flapping on the cars of twenty soccer parents during a youth soccer game, at 8 p.m.?
I suspect there is an increase in revenue generated per meter maid capita by hunting a one day garage sale neighbourhood on bikes, than all the shoe leather laid down by the yellow vested scourge that crawls the core during weekday business hours.
